TITLE: Review: 300 (2007) AUTHOR: Joe Johnson DATE: 8:21:00 AM ----- BODY:
Dir: Zack Snyder

Schools have spent much of the last fifteen years changing mascots. The Orangemen have become, simply, the Orange. My old community college moved from Indians to the Yaks (true). After watching 300, I would be among the first to suggest my old high school consider dropping "Spartans".

300 is a stylized splatterfest, an adaptation of a Frank Miller graphic novel that aims to bring his vision of ancient history from the page to the screen. It does this. Unlike so many adaptations, the problem isn't only the translation, but also the source material. Miller's story is a glimpse at the Sparta civilization and its attempt to withstand subjugation by the Persian empire. It concentrates on a small band of soldiers who join King Leonidas, like the Scots standing with William Wallace for the cause of freedom.

300 is no Braveheart. It may not even be a Sin City, another Miller adaptation. For one thing, Sin City had both characters and plot. Other than the above summation, there is no plot. And the development of character, with the possible exception of Queen Gorgo, isn't as deep as the black ink on a Miller page.

When audiences see Leni Reifenstahl's Triumph of the Will, her propaganda documentary on the Nazis, they watch with fascination. It's a chance to see the most famous villains of the twentieth century on film. But it also has a tendency to develop some sense of understanding. For a moment, every non-German stops asking, "How could those dumb people ever follow this guy?" Reifenstahl succeeds at turning Hitler into a hero, a fulfillment of some deep Teutonic dream.

The Spartans are no less noble and no less nationalistic than the Nazis, but director Zack Snyder is no Reifenstahl. The prologue vividly displays the indoctrination of Spartan youth. They are inspected at birth for perfection. When they fail, the babies are cast upon a giant trash heap of discarded carcasses. Following a perversion of Plato's Republic, young boys are taken from their mothers to be trained, brutally, to be heartless and committed warriors. They suffer abuse at the hands of other boys, men and the entire civilization. The survival of the entire nation depends on continual chain of systematized eugenics, abuse and military assimilation.

No one in Sparta is weak. Every man, other than the duplicitous philosopher-politicians, is blazing in idealized masculinity. The women are perfect matches. It is the society of design and misogyny. It exists only through the uncompromising enforcement of an ethnic and philosophical ideal that would have made the Führer wince.

And these are our heroes.

After the establishment of lore and culture, the remainder of the film is dedicated to achieving the perfect battle scene. Wave after wave of Persians fall to the strategies and homo-erotic sculptures of the Spartans. Xerxes, an eight-foot demigod king, offers peace through submission - and a display of fetish jewelry that belongs in Hellraiser. Sparta has sacrificed all of its imperfection for their ideals. They will not even hear the most compassionate offer of treaty. They know only the way of the sword and brutality, though, for them, it is the way of liberty.

The first battle is successful. It draws on depicting strategy and highlighting the stylistic vocabulary of the film. But each subsequent sequence is simply a modified version. It becomes obvious that the style and grandeur of 300 is limited to a small palette. It is built on blacks and reds, sword splatter, chiseled physiques and a pacing that slows to accentuate every thrust of the spear. If the film ran at a constant real-time speed, it may have lasted only thirty minutes.

And that would have been more than enough.

* of *****

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